Sunday, June 5 Y 6/05/2011 01:41:00 AM
Really confused right now... I mean, I just read her blog and guess what? I realised that I wasn't even that close to her in the first place... Not close enough to trust me, not close enough to hate me that deeply also I guess... But to me... She was my best friend, the one I told
ALL my secrets to, the one whom I loved dearly and hoped we would stay bffs, but I guess to you we were never like that... You never let me in, come to think of it, the fact that I never knew who you liked was a really strange thing! I mean, seriously, girls tell each other EVERYTHING right?? I guess not... :( Not with you, and I guess that's why it was easier to accept me again... The intensity of the feelings you have toward me are not so strong... That's why... Even after I've known you for so long! :( I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part... I wished and hoped and had faith in our friendship that if only I had patience and pulled through the worst part, things will all get better... but... It did, and it was the strength of the friendship that reunited us... Not quite the way I expected it to... I've always thought that
THE RECONCILIATION was the greatest success of the waiting, but it just proved to be that much of a failure I am. I did not sense (or ignored) the signs, I did not have the courage to talk to you... I wasn't even able to gain your trust then... and now you're going through a difficult time with some issues, I can't help you... I hate being pessimistic you know that?? But I loved it when you talked to me like nothing happened... But then again...
HOW can you pretend sth as
BIG as that
never happened??? Its not right... Now I look like the fool, chasing an impossible dream, ecstatic when I reached the shadow of it, only to find that it got further away from me even still. Not to mention that my life and voice and results currently suckz TTVM.
Plus. my former best friend is going through some problems and I can't help him and he won't talk to me. Congratz charmaine, your friends are not really your friends anymore...
sad and depressed
charm
